"Guess who's Biz-ack!"

What's up folks!?

Its been quite some time since we last chatted. A lot is new with me and I'm sure a lot has changed with you all but at the end of the day, I'm just happy to be here. Everyday I wake up thinking about how I can make the most of my day. Often sleeping until the absolute last second and going to bed near 1am. Trying to get the ABSOLUTE MOST out of each and everyday. I talk with LOTS of people, whether its at work, on Twitter, or the grocery store. I've found that regardless of how many books I've read or the class that I've taken, I've learned more from the people I come into contact with than anywhere else. So that makes me think...what will people say about their encounters with me?

I've always thought of myself as an "intellectual" aspiring to be a "socialite". Priding myself on being well-read and open-minded (like my mother taught me) yet being able to be the "everyday" (not average) guy. I find myself craving involvement and interaction to expand my network...but more importantly...my mind. So I got on Facebook when it first came to Clemson and then I finally joined the Twitter movement after having my arm-twisted (but definitely one of the best decisions I've EVER made from a networking stand point). I made a YouTube channel and joined Toastmasters. I figured if I'm going to communicate with others, I should be able to do it as flawlessly as possible, with as many people as possible. Lastly, I made a Blog. FINALLY - My own personal sounding board. Here, I'm able to speak freely and LOUDLY about my thoughts and opinions. (I wish I got more feed back but I charge that to my posts not being interesting enough, so that will change in the future). So I've decided that I'm not going to waste my podium anymore. I'm going to take full advantage. Expect more posts more frequently (shorter of course).

As far as what's new for me...I've lost weight, put on weight, and lost weight again doing P90X (I'm starting Insanity on Monday). I've seen my career literally take off as I'm all-over my multi-billion dollar company's marketing. I've experienced moments of immaturity (both spiritually and mentally). I've had moments of despair and moments of great success. Laughs, Tears, Hugs, and all....life has been great.

Thanks for playing the major role in it that you play. As they say, THE SHOW MUST GO ON...so continue to tune in!

Black in America 2: Parenthood

Good evening everyone! I hope that you enjoyed tonight's special and more importantly, I hope you find something insightful to take back from this Blog. As always, please feel free to share your comments and viewpoints. Because of all the segments of tonight's show, I'm going to focus on the one issue that is most glaring to me.

The first part of the special was particularly intriguing to me so I'll apologize in advance in focus on it a lot. The staggering marriage/divorce statistics in the United States are only dwarfed by 6 countries (Sweden is #1 with a 54.9% divorce rate) in the entire world! India has the lowest divorce rate in the world with 1.1%. These statistics are courtesy of Americans for Divorce Reform. The United States is in 7th place worldwide with a 45.8% divorce rate. Though divorce is a troubling issue in every community, there is no doubt that the African American community is plagued by this problem. Now, if you were watching Black in America 2, you saw the marriage counselor who was in her second marriage with a husband over 500 miles away. I can't lie...I thought it was RIDICULOUS!!!! If I was in there, I'm sure I wouldn't have been able to take her seriously but at the same time, she did make some valid points. She commended the couple for being great parents but did say they miss the mark on the marriage portion.

My view on the whole thing is just this: Playing House isn't married. It seems like more and more people in my generation and community are starting to use those two phrases interchangeably. Eventually, these "play houses" turn into single parent homes (often single mothers) raising children. Leading to a whole slew of problems that we are all very aware of. I'm sure that some of you may think the biggest problem is the incarceration rate of blacks, others may think that it is the education deficiencies in the community but I think the biggest problem leads to the two that I have just mentioned. So here it is...the BIGGEST problem to the African American community is the amount of children being born to unmarried parents. Take this number - 69...as in 69% of ALL BLACK children born are born to unmarried parents! Crazy, right!? Especially when compared to 43% of Hispanic children and 28% of Whites. When you take that and look at a lot of the issues plaguing the community while also considering the percentage of divorces, you can't help but see catalyst of problems to come.

Now, don't get me wrong...I do not think that any situation or environment is too big to overcome. Look at Tyler Perry's portion of Black in America 2 if you need a refresher. At the end of the day, will power, determination, drive, and faith can take a person farther than any letter of recommendation can but it is important that we understand the impact of our decisions. In a era of "Kids having kids", we are all seeing more and more of peers having children at a young age and in situations that are "less than desirable". Before I conclude, I want to shout out ALL the parents out there that are doing what they are supposed to! *applause* You all have more strength that I do because my favorite kind of kids are the ones you can return at the end of the day, lol. Lord knows that my parents weren't ready/prepared for me but they did what they had to do and didn't take the OTHER way out. I appreciate it because I know that having a hard life is better than not having a life at all. So with that said, we have to do a better job of giving our children the opportunities that we never had. That begins with us doing the things that we need to do (go to school, get a good job, etc.) to provide the proper resources that allow our children to thrive.

*Inspired by Black In America 2*

Until next time folks....

Black in America 2: Part 1

*DISCLAIMER*In Black in America 2 , we saw a lot. I'm not here to tell you how to think but since I have a blog, I can write what I think and you can agree/disagree with me but I am merely doing in words what I would have done if I was able to sit around in a forum session.

"[Community] Service is what you pay for the time that God has allowed you to be on this earth." In the first part of Black in America 2, Malaak Compton - wife of actor/comedian Chris Rock - attempts to teach children the value of service. She takes a group of students from a variety of backgrounds that in one way or another are dealing with issues in their life that we have seen to be fatally tragic for people all over the world (regardless of your race). From the comments that I've seen on Twitter and Facebook, a lot of people are not really big on this part of the show. Some have said, "why are you taking poor kids to Africa? That doesn't make sense." or "So what are the kids actually supposed to get out of this? Their grades still suck." Well, to those two comments and a lot of others, I saw this...when you think of under privileged youth in America, the first thing most of us think of is giving them money or donating clothes. Like Malaak said, money is not going to solve the problem. Once the money is gone, those children's lives are still left unchanged. The experience that HOPE Worldwide provided these children should (and likely will) encourage them to work harder with what few resources THEY DO have. I am a big advocate for community service/service learning. I believe that a lot of times, young people miss the boat on the idea that SOMEONE will have to help you...be it a black person or white person, male or female...people help do help people and pay it forward and at the end of my career, I view success as just this: My success will be defined, not by how big my house is or how much money I make. My success will be defined by the doors that I open for others. The experience that Malaak and her team gave those children will be one that will allow them to appreciate the things that they have in their lives while also instilling the intangibles that are needed more and more to succeed today.

In part 2, (people didn't Tweet/Facebook comment as much, lol) Dr. Steve Perry showed another major part of developing the youth of tomorrow: Education. Regardless of what color your skin is, a lot of us understand that education is the "Great Equalizer". Now before you attack me for that statement and say - "well I, a black man, have a MBA and I didn't get the job but they hired some other guy because his dad knew someone." - I understand that a lot of the time, its not WHAT you know but WHO you know but at the end of the day...if you KNOW NOTHING you can't even get the hook up. As a person who comes from a household that was on government assistance, I can completely relate to the statement, "This is my way out." A lot of the time, a community can be one of the biggest problems plaguing a student on the border of EXCEPTIONAL and UNDERACHIEVING. Dr. Steve Perry is also doing something that a lot of students parents aren't doing: holding them accountable...this is universal for everyone, not just those who are BLACK in AMERICA.

Finally in part 3, John Rice, founder of MLT, incorporates some of the most necessary keys to success in America. Knowledge, Network, and Ability. Rice grew up around successful people, not just black, who taught Rice the essential keys to success that are generally not taught in the classroom. Management Leadership for Tomorrow focuses on the skills that are necessary to yield a high performance in the high pressure atmosphere of business today. If you have ANY aspirations to work for (or hell, even own) a Fortune 500 company, it is highly likely that you will need more than your IVY League MBA and your "Bruhs"/"Sorors". This isn't the only program like this in the country but I encourage you to search for what drives you more than anything. If I could be described in word, 99.9% of the time, I want it to be DRIVEN. I have a friend who is DEFINITELY Driven. I think she is as successful as a person can be 1 year out of undergrad yet she is just as hungry if not MORE SO than some of my friends who are still waiting for the economy to pick up. So that tells me this: She WILL be successful because of her mindset and her hunger. That kind of stuff can't be taught...PERIOD. It may be refined but if you can not muster up the internal drive to do something you are passionate about, then you'll be STUCK in a job that pays you 6 figures that you hate...just some thoughts...

Overall, I liked the special...it made me think of a lot (as you can see)...PLEASE feel free to share your thoughts and comments here or on Facebook/Twitter. I love intelligent debate more than anything so please share your comments...

...part 2 will be up tomorrow night!!!

"She Got Her Own"

"I love her 'cause she got her own

She don't need mine, so she leave mine alone

There ain't nothin' that's more sexy

Than a girl that want, but don't need me

Young independent, yeah, she work hard

But you can tell from the way that she walk

She don't slow down 'cause she ain't got time

To be complaining, shawty gon' shine

She don't expect nothin' from no guy

She plays aggressive, but she's still shy

But you never know her softer side

By lookin' in her eyes

Knowing she can do for herself

Makes me wanna give her my world

Only kinda girl I want

Independent queen workin' for her throne"

-Jamie Foxx ft. Ne-Yo

Now I know that as a man, we like to think that we need to be the rock, the support, AND the bank. The thing is that we CAN be the first two without being the third one. The key to this is for a male to understand his role in both a relationship (be it boyfriend or husband) as well as his role in a household.

So let's do some math, shall we:

Hair & Nails Done: $160
Gas in HER car: $35
Going out and shopping money: $200

Overdrawing your account to prove a point: Priceless + $35 NSF Fee

Guys, we all know we have damn near overdrawn our bank accounts to look like the "Balla" for our lady. Its not that we like being broke or anything but we like being able to DISPLAY our ability to support someone. We think its MANLY to always pay for dinner, always pay for the movie, always pay for EVERYTHING...and to be honest, some chicks like that [DISCLAIMER: If you are one of those girls, you can stop reading now]. But what I am seeing more and more in my short 23 years on this Earth is that women like having the ability to pay for things from time to time. I swear, if I had a nickel for every time I heard something like, "Man, can you believe Crystal tried to pull her purse out at dinner?" - I would be moderately well-off financially.

A friend of mine was reading the July 2009 issue of ESSENCE the other day and she was telling me that a guy (occupation: Photographer) said plainly that when African American women are the breadwinners in a relationship, they try to take charge of all the decisions that would usually be left up to a man (not quite sure what those are but I digress) and he in turn feels emasculated...so he doesn't bother dating a female who makes more than him. Interestingly enough, 85% of women surveyed said that they would date a man that makes less money. So what does all this mean?

Simply put: Some men find it easier to use their income as a reason to be a leader in their household. In a time when African American women are attending college at a higher rate than their male counterparts, it is natural to see that women will be making more money today than they were 30 years ago. As men, we need to understand that HER having HER OWN is not only necessary but inevitable. The fact of the matter is that you've found a GOOD woman when she can can think for herself, care for herself, AND support herself.

So Gentlemen...if you take nothing from this post, take this...Chivalry is not dead, it just evolved. For centuries, we've always thought that Chivalry and Equality could not co-exist but chivalry seems to be more alive today than ever. People everywhere are reevaluating the things that are important in their lives, and they're rediscovering the virtues that the code of chivalry stands for — hope, kindness, respect, integrity and courage. They are discovering that they can still be inspired by a hero, and, best of all, they're realizing that when chivalry and equality stand side-by-side.

("She Got Her Own" Pt. 2 coming soon! Ladies...its your turn)

"Invictus"

...So normally, I make my blog titles the names of songs but I'm going to break the re-write the rules and go with a poem on this one...

Invictus

OUT of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Invictus by William Ernest Henley

Now, some of you may be familiar with arguably William Ernest Henley's most popular work, Invictus. This poem was written as Henley lied on his death bed. I'm not sure if you could feel the conviction that he wrote in every word but the meaning of it resonates in my soul for many reasons. For one, William Ernest Henley was not a man who fell on hard times. He was not some rich guy who went broke or some star athlete who lost a step. "Out of the night that covers me, black as the pit from pole to pole. I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul." He was born in 1849 and as a child battled tuberculosis.
Throughout his whole life he met obstacle after obstacle which came with no warning. Yet, in his darkest hour, this physically crippled man was thankful

"Under the fell clutch of circumstance, I have not wince nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance, my head is bloody but unbowed." Throughout his life, as despair turned to sorrow, and sorrow turned to misery, he understood that his situation(s) would not get better if he did not approach each day with the outlook that today is mine, there is no tomorrow. Can you imagine!? Some nerve! To live each day to the fullest!? Foolishness, of course. Surely I can finish that assignment tomorrow, surely that project update can be done tomorrow...or maybe more realistic...surely I can call my mom back tomorrow, surely I can send that thank you card tomorrow...surely I can say I love you tomorrow???

"Beyond this place of wrath of tears looms but the horror of the shade. And yet the menace of the years, finds and finds me unafraid." The key to life is to treat each day as its own day. In this world...this cruel world...we have seen in our short lives enough pain to fill a lifetime yet it is important that we do not become merely a product of our environment but instead become a catalyst to it. It is my job and your job to be nothing less than amazing...nothing shy of influential...everything except unafraid.

"It matters not how straight the gate, how charged with punishments the scroll. I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul." Has it become so rare to be extraordinary that we only see it on television and old books? Has it become common place to settle for what life is handing us instead of demanding what it has to offer? Is being bold and daring the new out of the norm?

I implore you to, everyday, strive for greatness in everything that you do. I'm sure I saw this on some bumper sticker or something but I think its kind of catchy. "To give anything less than 100% is to sacrifice the gift." Be it a sales rep, a marketing director, a police officer, a mother, a father, a son, a friend...do all that you can because in the end, that is all that will matter. I have always been a proponent to the concept that God makes people equally unequal because my talents may be your weaknesses and your talents may be my weaknesses but the ONE thing that we all have in common is our WILL. The intangible desire to succeed...to accomplish.

So with all that said, on your next day...better yet, from RIGHT NOW...take hold of the reigns of your life! As I close, I leave you with a line from one of my favorite poems..."If you can fill the unforgiving minute with 60 seconds worth of distance run, yours is the earth and all that is in it, and which is more you'll be a man my son." The poem "If" by Rudyard Kipling is full of statements that if you digest it (yes, digest), you will find is very applicable to some part of your life. What I gather the most from this poem, specifically that line, is that if we stop viewing life as one long minute but instead think of it as 60 individual seconds, your impact...our impact will be more lasting, more memorable, and most importantly...more fulfilling.

...Carpe Diem....

"Just Eat It"

I don't care if you're full

Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it

Open up your mouth and feed it

Have some more yogurt, have some more spam

It doesn't matter it its fresh or tanned

Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it

Don't you make me repeat it

Have a banana, have a whole bunch

It doesn't matter what you had for lunch

Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it

Eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it

It has been 6 days since I started P90X and decided to give up some of the things that I love most in life: fried food, tequila, etc. i can't say that I feel great but I am down 4.5 lbs. since I weighed in around 6am Monday morning. This whole P90X thing is definitely extreme and the crazy part about it is, after every workout I say to myself, "Self...if you would have just stayed in shape, you wouldn't even need these stupid DVDs." But I did, as we all do, "let myself go". So what do we all say when we realize it? IT HAPPENED SO FAST, right? Well, the change may have been more gradual than we think...unfortunately some of us have the kind of friends that enable our bad habits ("Hey Harold, want go half on this large meat lover's pizza? If we order it now, it should be here by 1am.")...or we have the misfortune of ALWAYS being around FREE food. I have always been a strong supporter of the idea that FREE food TASTES better (disagree if you'd like).

So what have I done? Well, for starters, I've started eating breakfast and limiting when I eat. Those are important factors to proper weight control and balancing when I eat is actually giving me more energy during the day. Aside from that, I'm making better choices all around when deciding what I'll eat. The old Harold had panther like quickness, chiseled arms and legs, and washboard stomach (Now I have to use the Maytag to wash my clothes...I can still fold on the stomach though).

I'm making a comeback though...August 29th! That's the day...I'm counting down to it. The before and after pics will be up and I'll be giving some tips for making it through the first 30 (assuming I do). But I can't say that it's been absolutely terrible. I've learned a lot. I've learned:

• 16 minutes of ab work is more than enough



• Just warming up can be a good enough work out...seriously, try doing jumping jacks for 2 minutes!
  


• Breathing is VERY essential in Yoga

Lastly, I've learned that there are going to be lots of obstacles to finishing this 90 day work out (road trips, late nights, FREE food, etc.) but if I truly want to see the results and achieve my goal (to get down to SHS) then I'll have to stay on it...until next time folks...

"1st of tha Month"

For 23 and a half years (8,601 days to be exact), I have been trying to fulfill my purpose. It makes so much sense when you really think about it. My purpose is to LIVE! Think about it, there are many commonalities that we (the people) can not control...60 seconds will always be a minute, gas prices will continue to go up (and then go down right after you fill up), and "If it doesn't fit, you must acquit!"...

However, the unique experiences that I've had throughout life are mine and only mine, even when shared with someone else, our perspectives can easily allow us to see different things from the person standing next to us looking through the same window. So as YOU read this, I want you to know why I decided to take time out of my arguably busy schedule to tell the world of my travels, stories, and experiences. Honestly, I just felt like talking...If you know anything about me, you'd know that I truly enjoy the company of others. So this is just another way for me to (re)connect with friends and family from all over the world. If you want to keep up with how/what I'm doing and the crazy things that I've been through...FOLLOW MY BLOG!!!

Also, I want to make this as interactive as possible so if you ever want to know what my opinion is on something, shoot me an email about whatever the topic is (and your stance if you'd like) and I'll be sure to post something in a classic "What Really Grinds My Gears" fashion. So that's pretty much it for my first one. I'm new to this thing so feel free to critique...and for those of you who were wondering, today was DAY 1 of my newest life decision: P90X...it was a beast but I'm still pushin'. More to come later this week...